August 7, 2007...7:54 pm

No More Monkey Business

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:.Sweat the Small Sh^t.:

Although the bathroom is a sanctuary for the mind, at times, it can be a place of panic and fear. If I’m ever in the bathroom, handling some business, I’m usually pretty relaxed. That is, until someone else comes into the bathroom. As soon as I hear that door open, I instantly check the lock on the stall. For some reason, I always think that I forgot to lock it, plus I just don’t trust the lock. They are too flimsy. Once I’ve checked the locks, I instantly prepare myself for the worst. I always think that the lock is going to give, as soon as someone barely pushes on it. I don’t know if anyone else has this phobia of someone breaking the stall down while you are taking a deuce, but it keeps me awake at night.

:.I’m Lookin for Some Hot Stuff.:

There is something else I wanted to share before I forgot. Why is it that everytime I visit the zoo, the Lions, Giraffes, or the Elephants are hiding because it is too hot. Um….say what? Those Sahara Desert animals are too hot here in Oklahoma? Tell them that I’m also hot, and paid $20 to walk half a mile to the back of the zoo to see their happy asses, and I don’t care. These guys are entertainers! I didn’t go to the zoo to look at acres of dry land with sporadic droppings and crying babies all over the place. No no, I came specifically to see those awesome animals that were in my Zoo Book magazines that I used to get and to recite shocking facts about the same beasts. “Did you know that a Lion’s roar can be heard 5 miles away?”

:.Review: The Good Sheppard.:

Well, I didn’t intend to write this much, just the bathroom stall bit, but I was filling the flow. This weekend, I watched the “Godfather of CIA movies.” Matt Damon’s thriller The Good Shepherd. I really wish I could have that 3 hours of my life back, and yes, it is that freaking long. The movie moved relatively slow, and then would speed up really quickly at important parts. When this happened, I missed too much which made the plot really confusing. If you have 3 hours to kill and you wouldn’t rather organize your sock drawer or take a nap…then come read my blog!

LOTD: SeeqPod: A really cool way to find songs
QOTD: “I think that the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can’t hypnotize you.” – Jack Handey

3 Comments

  • I used to be petrified in the bathroom (yeah, like that forest of rocks) but I figured out how to get past that. Take your ipod and just blast the music and close your eyes. That way you won’t know when someone comes in and you can take a deuce in peace.

  • Ryan, the Caterpillar Whisperer

    summertime, summertime jam jam…. coolin in the summer, that’s what we do..

    WTF!?!?!?

  • The Un-subscribing Ryan

    Scott. It’s Ryan. I like to party, but more important… I am leaning to deleting your website off of “My Favorites” due to 3 weeks of checking and still seeing :.Sweat the Small Sh^t.: This is a fair warning in my mind… hopefully, things change in the future.

    Love,
    Ryan


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